Thursday, November 7, 2013

Seeking to Make Amends

So many of us loved OctPoWriMo  that the team, decided to create a blog for poetry prompts and challenges to have all year long at Poets on the Page. This week the prompt is Deep. We are to write whatever that means to us, whether deep relationships, deep in the whole, or just plain deep.  

The prompt took me deep in side to something that's been bothering me for quite a while.

Seeking to Make Amends

I should have said I’m sorry a long time ago
I should have said I can’t talk about this now
But immaturity and fear
congregated in my gut
I was too unsure of myself
Too much in the closet
Too scared about my future
Of what you might think
If I said I was gay
Scared about losing my children
Scared of their father
Just plain scared

With no explanation I bolted
Vacated our friendship
Tossed away all we’d meant and shared
Before I’d moved to California
To discover who I really was
Life and forty years flew by
Time enough to go deep inside
Dredge up un-proud memories
Pull them out and face regret
Regretting my behavior
Regretting  time lost
Without my friend.

I am so sorry.