Friday, October 11, 2013

Day 11- OctPoWriMo 2013: Discrete Sounds on the Patio

 Today's OctPoWriMo prompt asked us to use the sounds around us to create a poem.


Discrete Sounds on the Patio

A lonely birdsong echoes

no winged compadres respond

Unlike the doggie yips that float

and rile the neighborhood pets

A lone vehicle moves along my hard-packed alley

Tires crunch scattered gravel

Steady rolling thunder -- a lone airplane

accompanies the annoying tune 

bubbling from a distant ice cream truck

In concert, the low rhythmic reverberation 

From car speakers sweeps through the next block

Alone on the patio, I listen, ear cocked and ready

Gathering discrete sounds this fall day


  1. Your poem "gathers" such an array of images through sound, thus creating a sense of neighborhood, yet the mood created is a little sad or ambivalent. I can't tell which, but the poem makes me a little sad.

    I just heard a story of a father who told his son that the ice cream truck only played music when it was out of ice cream. Hope that wasn't true of your ice cream truck!

  2. Thanks for your comment, Beth. Maybe it was the repetition of alone, lone, and lonely that created the mood of sadness. I meant to convey that it was a fairly quiet time in the afternoon, not many critters or folks around.

    Cheers, xoA

  3. Quiet days such as this are, alas, few and far between.

  4. So true, Tempest. These days are to be savored. Thank you for taking the time to read and comment. xoA

  5. Perceptive!The way your senses are attuned to your environs speaks a lot about your observant nature :)

    1. Thanks, Sunita. As writers we are charged with noticing all around us. I'm a writer -- and very nosy, too! xoA